During lunch the other day, a colleague was sharing his experience about a stag party he had just attended. He talked about the antics of the group and what they got up to, eventually landing on the topic of pulling girls and the 'walk of shame' they had to endure the next morning on their way home. This prompted me to ask why is it still refered to as the walk of shame for women and why there isnt an equivalent for men? The answers I received were unsatisfactory.
I told them I struggled with the fact that so many decades after the sexual revolution, women are still made to feel ashamed even though there has been a 'liberation'. Its alright for the men to walk home the next day in the same clothes but not for the women who have to bear the looks and sniggers of passers by. I went further to point out that there I had observed that the English language has no male equivalent for words like 'whore' and 'harlot'. There is one word 'gigolo', borrowed from Italian which is applied to men who sell sex but the meaning it conveys is far from the drudgery and filth that whore and harlot bring to mind. Basically, a gigolo, harlot and whore are all descriptions of people who sell sex for money but its only the words used for females that have negative connotations.
I find it disturbing that with all the advancements that have been made in the developed world in the area of gender equality, these negative stereotypes and words are still associated with and used on a daily basis to describe women. By this I am not in any way championing casual sex being a firm believer in commitment but I think that if people decide to have casual sex, then both sexes should be treated the same. Women should not be made to feel dirty for doing the exact same thing as the men they choose to have casual sex with.
On the face of it, it seems discouraging that after more than a century of struggling, strong prejudice against women still remains embedded in the social fabric of society but one must take comfort in the knowledge that the struggle for gender equality is a journey. A long journey which will take time and continuous effort to achieve. Lao Tzu, a chinese philosopher observed correctly that a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Our mothers and sisters round the world have made a lot of steps that have resulted in some of the freedoms that women now enjoy which they were denied previously. It is imperative that we continue on this journey. Women must never stand still or go back from where we came, we must continue to respectfully, but loudly, challenge unjust systems and beliefs. We must do it for ourselves and our daughters, lest the labours of our heroes past be in vain.
The struggle continues.
Tuesday, 19 May 2015
Wednesday, 6 May 2015
Gender Equality is Beneficial for Men Too
When most people hear the words 'gender equality' what often comes to their minds is a picture of women physically struggling with men for position, of women heckling men and shouting in the streets, burning bras and running about with the aim of pummelling men into submission.
That is a general and widespread misconception that needs to be changed. Gender equality is not about shifting power bases to favour the female sex alone, it is about equalising the systems so that both sexes have the same rights and access to economic resources without fear or harassment. It is about providing the framework that underpins the freedom of both sexes to express themselves in any way they want without impinging on the next person's rights.
Gender equality is not just for women, when it is achieved, it will provide the opportunity for men to behave in ways and do things that they couldn't have done in the past due to traditional expectations.
Such behaviours may include a shift in attitudes towards men having to be seen as the breadwinner, it might allow men to explore their feelings, they will have the freedom to express their emotions rather than bottling them up and using anger and aggression as means of release. A male member of this forum shared with me that one reason why men die earlier is because of this bottling up of emotions. Realisation of gender equality may even free some men of the responsibility of asking a girl out or to marry them. Imagine that, no more games. I think that would be a relief for some. What about the burden of paying a dowry? That financial obligation might disappear and the marital home could in time become a level playing field, with no threats of returned dowries. In the area of leadership, gender equality will free men from guess work when it comes to making decisions about female issues. There is a popular saying, only the wearer of the shoe knows how it pinches. When we have a gender balanced government, people who have experienced and understand the situation will be part of the decision making resulting in better policies for all the represented people and fewer dissatisfied people, definitely a good place to be in. I have no doubt that realising gender equality will benefit men too. My prayer and hope is that we can reach it quickly.
These are just a few examples I can think of but I am sure there are others. Can you think of any? As they say, two heads are better than one so please share any thoughts you have on this.
Anuli
That is a general and widespread misconception that needs to be changed. Gender equality is not about shifting power bases to favour the female sex alone, it is about equalising the systems so that both sexes have the same rights and access to economic resources without fear or harassment. It is about providing the framework that underpins the freedom of both sexes to express themselves in any way they want without impinging on the next person's rights.
Gender equality is not just for women, when it is achieved, it will provide the opportunity for men to behave in ways and do things that they couldn't have done in the past due to traditional expectations.
Such behaviours may include a shift in attitudes towards men having to be seen as the breadwinner, it might allow men to explore their feelings, they will have the freedom to express their emotions rather than bottling them up and using anger and aggression as means of release. A male member of this forum shared with me that one reason why men die earlier is because of this bottling up of emotions. Realisation of gender equality may even free some men of the responsibility of asking a girl out or to marry them. Imagine that, no more games. I think that would be a relief for some. What about the burden of paying a dowry? That financial obligation might disappear and the marital home could in time become a level playing field, with no threats of returned dowries. In the area of leadership, gender equality will free men from guess work when it comes to making decisions about female issues. There is a popular saying, only the wearer of the shoe knows how it pinches. When we have a gender balanced government, people who have experienced and understand the situation will be part of the decision making resulting in better policies for all the represented people and fewer dissatisfied people, definitely a good place to be in. I have no doubt that realising gender equality will benefit men too. My prayer and hope is that we can reach it quickly.
These are just a few examples I can think of but I am sure there are others. Can you think of any? As they say, two heads are better than one so please share any thoughts you have on this.
Anuli
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