A few days ago, I had an interesting conversation with
a group of people. We talked about intelligence of children and touched on
topics such as the value of private education (referred to as public schooling
in parts of the UK), streaming in school systems to encourage academic talent
etc. The conversation was progressing well until one of the conversants made a
comment about 'dumb' children.
'Dumb', the word struck me like a
stone. I was stunned, first by the use of that word to describe a child (even
in private conversation) and also because when I challenged the use of the
word, the response was one of shrugged shoulders and of insensitivity, as if no
damage could possibly be done by using that descriptor for a child. I even went
as far as to ask, what if it was your child being described as dumb to which
the response was, "well my children aren’t". I could see that the
last comment was made to save face because the embarrassment was obvious. The
person had realised that unknowingly and without malice, they had become a
vehicle of prejudice against academically challenged children.
These types of conversations happen
every minute of every day all over the world. These are conversations in which
people unknowingly discriminate against others and prime their listeners to do
the same. That is how prejudice starts. I am as guilty as the next person. I
have lost count of the number of times that my husband has pulled me up for
showing prejudice, which has come out during my conversations. In my opinion,
prejudice results in discrimination and discrimination when unchecked breeds
inequality which results in all kinds of injustice being done to the 'victim'
of the inequality.
You may argue that prejudices are
inbuilt, that they are part of our emotional DNA. That may be the case but we
humans are able to engineer solutions which help us to rise above limitations
that we may have as a result of our biological make up. An example is wearing
high heels to boost height (for the vertically challenged among us). Likewise,
in the case of prejudice, one way to mitigate it is to develop empathy. The
definition of empathy from Wikipedia is as follows: Empathy is
the capacity to understand what another person is experiencing from within the
other person's frame of reference, i.e., the capacity to place oneself in
another's shoes.
If we practised empathy, we would be
less likely to judge, to stereotype, to be biased. We would probably be more
patient, willing to listen and to assist in any way we could. I am convinced
that if there was more empathy in the world, there would be less inequality. So
let’s all work on getting some empathy, lets practice it till it becomes habit.
It may be difficult at the start but the more one does it, the easier it gets.
At the end of the conversation that
triggered all of this, what I thought and wish I had said is this, " we
may not all be mathematical geniuses but each one of us is remarkably gifted
and unique in our own special way".
It is something we should try to achieve Anuli and I agree with you, we must try! When you spend your whole life hearing things like igbo people are.... Or Yoruba people are... Short people are... Women always ... Etc one tends to grow up putting everyone in a box instead of on individual basis ! We have to fight generalisation but it is hard work!!!
ReplyDeleteWell written! Empathy gives you a heart that is open and willing to accomodate all. Practice it today and see how far you can go in life. That is what I use everyday of my life. I wake in the morning praying that God re-ignite my heart with it.
ReplyDeleteThanks ladiesfor your comments. Amaka, it is true that it is hard. Breaking a habit is always hard, so is forming a new one but as you say, we must try to fight stereotyping by changing our thoughts. Like Adaeze, may we all practice empathy in every aspect of our lives, we will be surprised bythe horizons that will open to us by just changing our thinking.
ReplyDeleteTotally love this. As one who works in education I experience this a lot, not just calling a child dumb but basically labelling a troublesome child as "bad" and with no future ambition. We need to be careful when addressing such issues.
ReplyDeleteHope you do not mind I reposted your write-up on my blog.
ReplyDeleteBukky, i totally agree with your comments. Please feel free to share
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