During lunch the other day, a colleague was sharing his experience about a stag party he had just attended. He talked about the antics of the group and what they got up to, eventually landing on the topic of pulling girls and the 'walk of shame' they had to endure the next morning on their way home. This prompted me to ask why is it still refered to as the walk of shame for women and why there isnt an equivalent for men? The answers I received were unsatisfactory.
I told them I struggled with the fact that so many decades after the sexual revolution, women are still made to feel ashamed even though there has been a 'liberation'. Its alright for the men to walk home the next day in the same clothes but not for the women who have to bear the looks and sniggers of passers by. I went further to point out that there I had observed that the English language has no male equivalent for words like 'whore' and 'harlot'. There is one word 'gigolo', borrowed from Italian which is applied to men who sell sex but the meaning it conveys is far from the drudgery and filth that whore and harlot bring to mind. Basically, a gigolo, harlot and whore are all descriptions of people who sell sex for money but its only the words used for females that have negative connotations.
I find it disturbing that with all the advancements that have been made in the developed world in the area of gender equality, these negative stereotypes and words are still associated with and used on a daily basis to describe women. By this I am not in any way championing casual sex being a firm believer in commitment but I think that if people decide to have casual sex, then both sexes should be treated the same. Women should not be made to feel dirty for doing the exact same thing as the men they choose to have casual sex with.
On the face of it, it seems discouraging that after more than a century of struggling, strong prejudice against women still remains embedded in the social fabric of society but one must take comfort in the knowledge that the struggle for gender equality is a journey. A long journey which will take time and continuous effort to achieve. Lao Tzu, a chinese philosopher observed correctly that a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Our mothers and sisters round the world have made a lot of steps that have resulted in some of the freedoms that women now enjoy which they were denied previously. It is imperative that we continue on this journey. Women must never stand still or go back from where we came, we must continue to respectfully, but loudly, challenge unjust systems and beliefs. We must do it for ourselves and our daughters, lest the labours of our heroes past be in vain.
The struggle continues.
... In the same vein, I can't go to a bar after a long day (to take a drink) all by myself without being harrased by some men thinking I'm there to "scout" for men or do "runs". And anytime I get down from my vehicle (ok my mum's car) you'd see that "this geh is lucky,she's married to a rich guy" look on the faces of people around. It is just crazy. I'm not even for gender equality (men and women are completely different) but just respect us! This is just like a recent article I wrote on how the virginity talk is centered on only females (u should read it).
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine is a member of the Abuja Hilton club. After a gym session one day, she decided to have a drink at the bar. After a long time of trying to get a waiter to serve her, she went up to the bar to complain. She was told in no uncertain terms that the policy was not to serve ladies who were alone. Talk about discrimination. It is a shame that women tolerate, even accept such treatment without challenge.
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