Part one of this
post has generated a range of comments on Facebook and I want to say that I
appreciate people sharing their honest opinion on the matter. I have been told
that marriage should not be based on following a set of rules and I most
definitely agree with that advice. Every marriage is unique and should be based
upon agreement between the two people who have signed up to the partnership
rather than on a rigid set of do’s and dont’s because it robs the marriage of
love. So if you have already downloaded a copy of the rules and pasted it up on
the wall with the intention of setting up quarterly performance review meetings
with your husband, I would advise that perhaps this is not a wise move.
Jokes aside though,
some dear friends asked if I was upset when I wrote this post and my answer to
that question is both no and yes. No, because I have a great partnership with
my husband which is based on understanding and communication, and so I don't
need to subscribe to rules to maintain a happy home and yes, I am upset that so
many women are subjected to the crushing unfairness of being made to feel that
the burden of a successful marriage is theirs alone.
With that said, I wrote these rules not because I think that marriage should be based on rules, but because I felt it was time that a response was made to the unprecedented number of ‘rules for wives/women’ that are being passed around on social media, and which are being accepted as right. This post was written tongue in cheek, not as a joke to make people laugh, but intentionally to bring attention to how society places the unjust burden of the success of marriage on women. So while I am glad about the time that people have taken out to read and comment on the 12 Rules for men, what would please me more would be if many more people, who know that marriage is not about rules, but about private agreements, would now take the time to push back against these 'rules for women' and similar posts, so that the imbalance is addressed and a shift starts to take place in our society.
With that said, I wrote these rules not because I think that marriage should be based on rules, but because I felt it was time that a response was made to the unprecedented number of ‘rules for wives/women’ that are being passed around on social media, and which are being accepted as right. This post was written tongue in cheek, not as a joke to make people laugh, but intentionally to bring attention to how society places the unjust burden of the success of marriage on women. So while I am glad about the time that people have taken out to read and comment on the 12 Rules for men, what would please me more would be if many more people, who know that marriage is not about rules, but about private agreements, would now take the time to push back against these 'rules for women' and similar posts, so that the imbalance is addressed and a shift starts to take place in our society.
Women have been beaten down for too long
by everyone including women, and it is time to stop that. Long live the institution of a good
marriage which is based on love not rules.
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